Modeling for the family is an appropriate SECOND step. First, we talk, then we offer to demonstrate. If, instead of modeling, we can talk the parent through the intervention, that's even better. But sometimes demonstration is called for.
One of parents' biggest complaints across the board continues to be too much “talk” and not enough modeling.
When parents say there's too much talk and not enough action, this could
be because they expect us to have our hands on the child (i.e., they
have wrong expectations about what home visiting should be--not their
fault) or because indeed the home visitor is too passive and doesn't get
down to brass tacks. Many home visitors implementing the RBEI (or
"Unified") model let the pendulum swing too far to the consultative end,
because their natural tendency is to be the expert. If the pendulum has
swung to an extreme, they simply are not being helpful enough. There
are, in this world, some home visitors who simply can't, along
with the parents, come up with some strategies for addressing a problem. Either they
were so used to doing dumb activities (e.g., from the toy bag, from some
curriculum) that, without that crutch, they don't know what to do or they just don't have ideas.
Most parents seem to learn best from a
visual demonstration by the service provider, followed by the coaching
piece as the parent works with his/ her child.
Most parents have probably not
received top-notch family consultation, which would be the home
visitor's talking the family through the intervention, with the family
doing the intervention. It's like my fly-fishing guide. He did indeed
show me how to cast, on land, with no fly on the end of the line, so I'd
see the correct movement. But very quickly he put the rod in my hand
and gave me feedback on my attempts. Once we were in the water, he NEVER
cast the line, because he was afraid of catching a fish. If he'd caught
a fish, he believed he would have made me feel bad. Not true, but
that's the way fishing guides in New Zealand are conditioned. You can
see the parallel with home visitors: We don't want kids doing well with
us. So the majority of the support is giving feedback and telling the
learner how to make corrections.
I'd put
outright demonstration as something we resort to, not something we begin
with. Also, don't assume that what families tell you is the best way to
go. Under the principle of the uninformed consumer (from marketing), if
a person hasn't tried X but has tried Y, she will say Y is better.
Hence, we need to make sure families experience good family
consultation.
