Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Mental Shift 11: Too Many Cooks Spoil the Broth



Got a need? Get a service.

That mentality has pervaded the field of early intervention 0-5, where we have seen the mindless piling on of services, families desperate for more services and more hours of those services, and professionals working to keep families dependent on their weekly sessions. But more is not better. In fact, it might be worse. In 2007, Dunst, Hamby, and Brookfield found that early intervention program service intensity had direct negative effects on self-efficacy beliefs and parent and family well-being. On the other hand, family-centered early intervention practices had direct and indirect positive effects. In a study of factors associated with parental stress and satisfaction during the diagnosis of children with autism spectrum disorders in Singapore, higher parental stress was associated with more professionals consulted and lower collaboration with professionals (Moh & Magiati, 2012). In a study conducted for his dissertation, my postdoctoral fellow, Pau GarcĂ­a Grau, found that the number of professionals working with the family was inversely related to family quality of life.

Why is more not better and even possibly worse? First, the multidisciplinary approach to service delivery, defined as different professionals each doing their own thing and not talking to each other, can leave important child and family needs unmet. Each horse has its racing blinkers on and relentlessly pursues its discipline-specific race. Therefore, these professsionals conduct fairly narrow assessments—they’re interested only in their own discipline—and provide treatment based on that narrow and often decontextualized assessment. The problem is that child and family needs often fall between these narrow tracks. Which discipline is in charge of the child’s highly restrictive food acceptance? Which deals with the child’s tantrums during hair washing? Which one deals with the child’s anxiety? Which deals with the child’s lack of interest in toys? Which one deals with the mother’s depression when she is home alone with her child? Which one deals with the father’s yearning to get a college education? Which one deals with the young mother’s disempowerment, living with her own mother?

Second, dealing with many professionals can be time consuming. We should take this “opportunity cost” into consideration, when analyzing the impact of the number of professionals. At first, families are delighted to have so many people on the so-called team. They feel they’re doing what’s best for their children. But as the months go by, the toll of taking the child for services, being home for them, or handling communication with the school-based ones can become a drag. I once interviewed, for a research project, a young mother in a housing project in Pittsburg. Her child had significant disabilities. She was clearly intelligent but with limited education. She had taught herself a lot, not just about her child’s problems but about life in general. She was unemployed. When I asked her if she was leading the kind of life she wanted to, she said, “What choice do I have? I have to take him to therapy.” She described how, on 2-4 days a week, she had to take him to the bus stop and take two buses to the clinic where he received occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy. She also had to be home one day a week, at least for an hour, to receive home-based early intervention from an educator. 

“Has anyone ever talked to you about alternatives, so he can get the help he needs and you can have a job?” She snorted a sardonic laugh. 

“No one has even asked me what I want.”

The number of problems with this scenario is too enormous and wearying to list. And this is not an isolated, unique case. We hear stories like this all the time. A few weeks ago, the New York Times reported that scores of families in northeast Brazil who had a baby with microcephaly from the zika virus were getting on buses at 3 in the morning to go to Recife, hours away, for the child to be seen in short sessions by various therapists, then trekking all the way back. Everyone assumes this life is what you get when you have a child with significant disabilities. It’s unnecessary, costly, and damaging. Damaging in two ways. First, it deprives the family of opportunities to spend their time doing something more fun or productive. Second, it teaches the family incorrectly—that these injections of therapy, out of context make a difference. That this is how children learn. Any time we give parents wrong information, we are damaging their parenting and therefore the child’s development. We are turning parents from “teachers” (the natural role of parents) to chauffeurs. (That’s what we’re supposed to be when soccer, gymnastics, and swim team begin!)

The third problem with having too many cooks in the kitchen is that it’s a waste of resources. In my consulting work, I am often presented with an overview of the service delivery method and then asked for advice on how to make the resources stretch further. They might have waiting lists, they might have reduced home visits to monthly (checking in, not digging in, as Dathan Rush says), or they might have shortened their visits to half an hour. I look at service plans, which go by different names in different parts of the world, and I see a slew of professionals on each plan, all with considerable intensity—often weekly. (If you think that sending a different kind of professional into the home each week—say, four professionals a month, visiting monthly—is a good solution, think again!) A waste of resources is less important than misleading families but it also has an impact on families. If family wants a consultation from a physical therapist, for example, but the PTs are all booked up because they’re seeing everyone weekly, the family might have to wait a long time or go elsewhere. 

A fourth problem is that professionals who work with the family independently often give conflicting information. They also assume that the parent will consider their own intervention suggestions as the top priority. When you have four professionals each thinking that, someone’s going to be disappointed. 
Nova Scotia, June 2017

The best solution is a primary service provider. The PSP approach fosters teamwork, uses resources wisely, gives the family a unified support, and reinforces in families the fact that children learn throughout the day from the adults caring for them.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Mental Shift 10. It's about helping families feel confident in their competence with their children


Since September 2015, I've been addressing the following mental shifts required to take a family-capacity-building, routines-based approach to early intervention:
12 Mental Shifts
1.       All the intervention occurs between visits.
2.       Whose child is it anyway?
3.       Children are learning from their caregivers, whether you want them to or not.
4.       Anyone spending time with the child has the opportunity to teach the child.
5.       Passing judgment on parents or other caregivers is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6.       Parent failings don’t exist; only professional ones.
7.       What matters is how children function in their everyday lives. Function = participation = engagement = learning.
8.       The rush to get ahead leads to failure in early intervention.
9.       It’s about getting children engaged, independent, and in social relationships.
10.   It’s about helping families feel confident in their competence with their children.
11.   Too many cooks spoil the broth.
12.   Teamwork can work through collaborative consultation.

Helping Families Feel Confident

Here are four things to do with families and one thing not to do. I then discuss specific practices in the Routines-Based Model that help families feel confident.

Some Level of Covertness

The indirect approach is sometimes the best way to appear sincere. Although we talk about the value of being positive in our interactions with families, it we’re too gushy about how great they are, they might question our sincerity. For example, if we say on every visit, “Oh, you’re awesome in teaching Nigel,” after a few visits Nigel’s mother is going to wonder if you’re just saying that to be nice. So it’s a good idea to change it up, such as, “I was just thinking on my way over here that I wish other mothers I work with could see how you teach Nigel.” You’ve inserted the compliment by reflecting on your own thoughts.
Home visit in Paraguay

Better Than You

To build others’ confidence, it’s helpful to be confident yourself—confident enough to acknowledge when they’re better than you in some way. For example, “Wow! I wish I had your patience.”

Appreciate Them

This can be overt, somewhat contradicting “some level of covertness.” It is about finding something the caregiver is responsible for—something said, something done, something in his or her environment—and letting the caregiver know you value it. It could be, “You’re really sensitive to his feelings,” or, “You make diaper change so fun,” or, “He’s so cute in that outfit.” Feeling appreciated is such a basic need.
Along with being responsive, oriented to the whole family, friendly, and sensitive, being positive—appreciating caregivers—is one of the characteristics we found of family-centered professionals working with families of young children with disabilities (McWilliam, Tocci, & Harbin, 1998).

Encourage Them in Their Chosen Role

If we’re living a life we chose, we like our choices to be validated. For example, if a person with a good job decides to stay home with her child, we should covertly make statements about how much time she spends with her child or how focused she is on helping her child be engaged.
Some people are not living a life they chose but they’ve talked themselves into believing it was their choice. This cognitive dissonance is a way for people to deal with competing values. What you get and have to take at face value is their saying they’re living a life they chose.
Other people are not living a life they chose and they feel it was their fault or someone else’s fault. If they talk to you about it, either putting themselves or others down, you have an opening to find out what in particular they would like to change and then using family consultation to help them find a solution. You have to start by asking them if they want to do something about the particular bother. They might say no—they just want to vent… and to have you listen.

Don’t Positively Reframe Their Negative Statements

The chirpy positive reframe, like, “No, you’re really good at that!” or “Oh, all parents go through that!” or “That’s no way to think! Everything will turn out fine!” is annoying at best and insulting at worst. It’s negating what the caregiver is saying. We listen and acknowledge. It can be difficult when much negativity is coming out.
In all these situations, the stronger the relationship you have with the caregiver, the more direct you can be in your helping them.

From the Routines-Based Model

In the Routines-Based Model, various practices build families’ confidence. Four such practices are as follows:
1.     The ecomap shows them (a) they can identify many people in their informal- and formal-support networks and (b) they’re not alone;
2.     The Routines-Based Interview (RBI) shows them they can report on details of child and family functioning and can choose 10-12 meaningful outcomes/goals;
3.     Family consultation shows them they are solution finders and interventionists;
4.     The Measure of Engagement, Independence, and Social Relationships (MEISR) shows them they can assess their child’s functioning in everyday routines

Families’ Competence

We’re helping families to feel confident about their competence in four roles.

Parents

Early intervention is a parenting program. We enhance families’ ability to address specific outcomes/goals for their children. In the Routines-Based Model, we also encourage their competence in talking to their children, reading with their children, playing with their children, and teaching their children.

Family Members

Watching home visit with GuaranĂ­-speaking professional
The mother we might visit regularly might not be only the mother of the child in early intervention. She might be a mother of other children too, a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, and so on. The Routines-Based Model teaches professionals to be oriented to the whole family, helping caregivers be the kinds of family members they want to be.

Interventionists

In their role as parents, parents are teaching their children, both addressing outcomes/goals and the usual teaching parents do. Helping parents be effective teachers of their children is a huge part of what we do.

Collaborators

We help families feel confident in working with us, together, to find solutions to needs they identified. Some families are natural partners; others are not used to being in that role and require some hand-holding to get there. We are helping prepare them for the marathon of parenting, not just the sprint in early intervention. As they move to other systems of support, we want them to be confident in determining their own needs and in working with professionals.
Let’s end with a saying from Lao Tzu: 
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”

 

McWilliam, R. A., Tocci, L., & Harbin, G. L. (1998). Family-centered services: Service providers’ discourse and behavior. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education, 18, 206-221.