Since September 2015, I've been
addressing the following mental shifts required to take a
family-capacity-building, routines-based approach to early intervention:
12 Mental Shifts
1. All
the intervention occurs between visits.
2. Whose
child is it anyway?
3. Children
are learning from their caregivers, whether you want them to or not.
4. Anyone
spending time with the child has the opportunity to teach the child.
5. Passing
judgment on parents or other caregivers is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6. Parent
failings don’t exist; only professional ones.
7. What
matters is how children function in their everyday lives. Function =
participation = engagement = learning.
8. The
rush to get ahead leads to failure in early intervention.
9. It’s
about getting children engaged, independent, and in social relationships.
10. It’s about helping families feel confident
in their competence with their children.
11. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
12. Teamwork can work through collaborative
consultation.
Helping Families Feel Confident
Here are four things to do with families
and one thing not to do. I then discuss specific practices in the
Routines-Based Model that help families feel confident.
Some Level of Covertness
The indirect approach is sometimes the best
way to appear sincere. Although we talk about the value of being positive in
our interactions with families, it we’re too gushy about how great they are,
they might question our sincerity. For example, if we say on every visit, “Oh,
you’re awesome in teaching Nigel,” after a few visits Nigel’s mother is going
to wonder if you’re just saying that to be nice. So it’s a good idea to change
it up, such as, “I was just thinking on my way over here that I wish other
mothers I work with could see how you teach Nigel.” You’ve inserted the
compliment by reflecting on your own thoughts.
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| Home visit in Paraguay |
Better Than You
To build others’ confidence, it’s helpful
to be confident yourself—confident enough to acknowledge when they’re better than
you in some way. For example, “Wow! I wish I had your patience.”
Appreciate Them
This can be overt, somewhat contradicting “some
level of covertness.” It is about finding something the caregiver is
responsible for—something said, something done, something in his or her
environment—and letting the caregiver know you value it. It could be, “You’re
really sensitive to his feelings,” or, “You make diaper change so fun,” or, “He’s
so cute in that outfit.” Feeling appreciated is such a basic need.
Along with being responsive, oriented to
the whole family, friendly, and sensitive, being positive—appreciating caregivers—is
one of the characteristics we found of family-centered professionals working
with families of young children with disabilities (McWilliam, Tocci, & Harbin, 1998).
Encourage Them in Their Chosen Role
If we’re living a life we chose, we like
our choices to be validated. For example, if a person with a good job decides
to stay home with her child, we should covertly make statements about how much
time she spends with her child or how focused she is on helping her child be
engaged.
Some people are not living a life they
chose but they’ve talked themselves into believing it was their choice. This cognitive
dissonance is a way for people to deal with competing values. What you get and
have to take at face value is their saying they’re living a life they chose.
Other people are not living a life they
chose and they feel it was their fault or someone else’s fault. If they talk to
you about it, either putting themselves or others down, you have an opening to
find out what in particular they would like to change and then using family
consultation to help them find a solution. You have to start by asking them if
they want to do something about the particular bother. They might say no—they just
want to vent… and to have you listen.
Don’t Positively Reframe Their Negative Statements
The chirpy positive reframe, like, “No, you’re
really good at that!” or “Oh, all parents go through that!” or “That’s no way
to think! Everything will turn out fine!” is annoying at best and insulting at
worst. It’s negating what the caregiver is saying. We listen and acknowledge.
It can be difficult when much negativity is coming out.
In all these situations, the stronger the relationship
you have with the caregiver, the more direct you can be in your helping them.
From the Routines-Based Model
In the Routines-Based Model, various
practices build families’ confidence. Four such practices are as follows:
1.
The ecomap shows them (a) they can identify many people in their
informal- and formal-support networks and (b) they’re not alone;
2.
The Routines-Based Interview (RBI) shows them they can report on
details of child and family functioning and can choose 10-12 meaningful
outcomes/goals;
3.
Family
consultation shows them they are solution finders and
interventionists;
4.
The
Measure of Engagement, Independence, and Social Relationships (MEISR) shows
them they can assess their child’s functioning in everyday routines
Families’ Competence
We’re helping families to feel confident
about their competence in four roles.
Parents
Early
intervention is a parenting program. We enhance families’ ability to address
specific outcomes/goals for their children. In the Routines-Based Model, we
also encourage their competence in talking to their children, reading with
their children, playing with their children, and teaching their children.
Family Members
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| Watching home visit with Guaraní-speaking professional |
The
mother we might visit regularly might not be only the mother of the child in
early intervention. She might be a mother of other children too, a wife, a
daughter, a daughter-in-law, and so on. The Routines-Based Model teaches
professionals to be oriented to the whole family, helping caregivers be the
kinds of family members they want to be.
Interventionists
In
their role as parents, parents are teaching their children, both addressing
outcomes/goals and the usual teaching parents do. Helping parents be effective
teachers of their children is a huge part of what we do.
Collaborators
We
help families feel confident in working with us, together, to find solutions to
needs they identified. Some families are natural partners; others are not used
to being in that role and require some hand-holding to get there. We are
helping prepare them for the marathon of parenting, not just the sprint in
early intervention. As they move to other systems of support, we want them to
be confident in determining their own needs and in working with professionals.
Let’s
end with a saying from Lao Tzu:
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”
McWilliam, R. A., Tocci, L., &
Harbin, G. L. (1998). Family-centered services: Service providers’ discourse
and behavior. Topics in Early Childhood
Special Education, 18, 206-221.
